Salutations, Journal!
My name is Clifford Clarkson. I am a senior year high school student attending a boarding school in hopes of putting my full focus on education. While I will take the best college I can get, my aim is to make it to the Ivy League. Everything is going well, including my grades, SAT scores, and extracurriculars. The only place where I am stuck is finding something to write for my college essay. This journal is meant to help with that.
[Welcome to Cliffnotes, a series of fiction shorts serving as a lighthearted prequel to my novella, IVY.
I made these just for fun, not as seriously edited, but short, sweet, and simple! Cliffnotes was the most popular series on my old blog, so I hope you enjoy it too! You can find the full chapter list here.]
My revenge quest is going splendid!
Stella asked me something at our lunch club today. With my earbuds blaring the Jeopardy theme, I barely heard her and instinctively replied,
“Math problems.”
I processed the question after she spoke. She asked me to help her write an accurate relationship between two men.
I swiftly recovered, “See, when guys ask each other out… One starts by asking the other a math equation, and if the other wants to say ‘yes,’ he responds with the answer. If you want realistic writing, you should stick with that.”
I decided to give her, and the rest of my ex-co-hosts, a demonstration. Given Lex was now my sort-of-secret-boyfriend-not-really, he would be a good sport about this.
I leaned on the lockers where I found him, and gave him a smile, “Heyyy, Lex. If 3x plus 5 equals 21 minus 7, what does x equal?”
Lex laughed, “Cliff, feeling flirty today?”
“Yes. This is how men ask each other out, right?” I said, with a very obviously joking smile, and a brief look back at the girls behind me.
Lex caught on to the bit and replied, “Yes! Um… Um… Let’s see here…”
He scrambled to calculate the answer on his phone.
I leered, “Lex. Are you cheating on me? Are you using ChatGPT?”
Lex showed me his phone screen, with the calculator app up. “No, I’d never… I promise I’m only texting a calculator.”
He finally shouted, pretending to be teary, “Three!”
He jumped up and kissed me on the cheek. That caught me off guard.
“HEY!” I yelped, “I mean, uh…. Yay, babe?” Babe? People do say that, right?
I can’t wait to read the fanfiction these girls write. Some of them might have actually believed me.
P.S.
Angelo popped his head in the door during one of our math classes, which happened while he was in study hall.
He asked our teacher, a man, “Hey, excuse me, could you remind me of the Pythagorean theorem?”
Lex whispered to me, “Angelo! I had no idea he was gay!”
I hated being disruptive, but I HAD to sell the girls on our bit. I covered my mouth with a hand, faking an expression of horror. Saying, under my breath, “Angelo! With a teacher! How could you?!”
Unable to hear us, our math teacher replied, “Sure, it’s a squared plus b squared equals c squared.”
All of the girls in the back row went, “Oooooooooooh!”
I think I was the only one capable of keeping myself from laughing. The plan had definitely worked.
P.S.
Lex always cheers me up on a bad day.
Sable approached me in the hallway for some homework help. Lex happened to be working with me.
“Hey, Cliff, help me out. What’s a hundred divided by five?” Sable asked.
Lex gasped in horror. “Sable, did you just ask my study partner math?! How could you do math with my study partner?!”
Knowing Sable definitely needed my help, and knowing our joke had to conclude eventually, I sincerely answered his question, “20.”
“Clifford! I just- I can’t believe that. I’m going to calculate the division of me and you!” Lex pretend-shouted, then marched off. And that was how I, technically speaking, “broke up” with my boyfriend - in name only.
Of course, the girls from club were watching. They were all staring at Sable.
Score! Revenge tastes sweet. I stared at my most active tutoring client and smirked, “So, how’s finding a Prom date going?”
